It’s been quite a year in beverage-related heists. There was a massive $675k wine theft in France, which involved a chase where the thieves chucked bottles of wine at the police. Then there was a slightly smaller-scale job in which a guy busted into a bank and managed to score some loose change and exactly one can of soda. Let’s add what’s likely to be one of the last beverage heists this year: a man in Providence, Rhode Island, probably said “fuck it” before hopping into an idling liquor and beer truck and driving off with it.
WPRI has the story. The man, later identified as a 44-year-old resident of Cranston, Rhode Island, climbed into the driver’s seat of a van on its alcohol delivery route as it was stopped outside of a liquor store. Hilariously, a local photojournalist at 12 News (WPRI itself) happened to be outside and witnessed the whole thing. The truck slowly drove away, with the rear liftgate wide open and the ramp down.
Bottles and kegs fell out the back of the truck as it slowly lurched down the street. Eventually the chase came to an unceremonious end when the truck crashed into a utility pole. A nearby resident was raking leaves outside his house and watched as the getaway driver was pulled out of the cabin of the truck.
“The cops ran in and kind of pulled the guy out of the car and got him on the ground,” the witness said. “You know, if you need beer, come to me, I’ll buy you beer. You don’t need to steal a truck.”
Same goes for me. I don’t have a ton of money, but if you’re thirsty for a brew and you’re considering jacking a truck off the street, seriously, I’ll supply you with a few cold ones. Maybe even a bag of chips. I can always use a new buddy anyway.