File under: Criminals breaking into places and causing unusual types of mayhem.
One of my favorite types of very specific crime categories are the ones where people break into other people’s property, do something really weird, and then get caught, which is exactly what happened in this case reported November 5. A man in Richmond Heights, Ohio, apparently busted into his girlfriend’s apartment after an argument, Cleveland.com reports, and submerged her clothes and shoes in the bathtub and then left the water running. Then, for some inexplicable reason, he allegedly put some cat food in the oven, turned it on, and left the apartment. This is basically my highly specific definition of a good time.
In a twist, it turns out neither the woman nor her boyfriend actually lease the apartment, and both were were subsequently banned by the apartment management company. In a less amusing twist, at least for the management company, the water from the overflowing bathtub collapsed the ceiling in the apartment directly below.
In my time on this planet, I have tried a bunch of different cat food. I’ve even baked corn-based kitty litter into a surprisingly palatable jalapeño cornbread. But so far, I have not gone as far as to bake cat food in the oven, as I consider it already cooked. Was it wet food or dry food? I need to know. Perhaps this man knows a culinary secret that I do not. I’m guessing this was a hell of an argument, but I hope that the cat came out unscathed, as there was no mention of an interview with the cat as a witness. Assuming there actually was a cat.