Screenshot: Madonna (Instagram)

Two days ago, Madonna posted a video to Instagram. In it, she repeatedly dips a spoon into a wine glass and then sips wine from said spoon. The caption reads, “Soup du Jour..............🍷 #midnightsnack.” It has since been viewed 1.7 million times.

The Sun seems to take at her word, inferring that she keeps on pushing her eating habits over the borderline. (“Nailed it,” the writer whispered to herself with a smug little smile.) But we suspect that Madonna does not, in fact, consider wine a soup, and is having a little (weird) fun here. But this article does not aim to defend Madonna’s sense of humor. Its aim is to defend using whatever utensil you want to eat whatever you want as long as you’re not a total asshole about it.

Here’s a partial list of things I eat “wrongly,” for reasons I can’t totally justify other than to say that it’s sometimes convenient.

  • My preferred method of eating soup: Served in a giant mug (or deep bowl), consumed by sipping the broth directly from the mug/bowl and eating whatever’s in the soup with a fork. I’ll use a spoon for chicken and rice soup, but that’s about it. Anything that doesn’t really have big chunks in it, I just drink.
  • Ice cream is as good with a fork as a spoon, provided it doesn’t get too melty (and I prefer non-melty ice cream).
  • Big sandwiches and burgers (usually from restaurants) are only useful in sandwich form until they start to fall apart a little. After that point, I basically strip them for parts. Imagine a burger with bacon on it—by the time I’m two-thirds through the thing, I’m usually using the bun to mop up condiments (I love condiments), eating the bacon/lettuce/etc. with my fingers, and attacking the patty with a fork.
  • When we were discussing this story, my colleague Gwen Ihnat mentioned that she eats macaroni and cheese with a spoon at home. I did not then mention that I also eat mac and cheese with a spoon at home, but now I shall stand and be counted.
  • I break the top piece of the popsicle off the stick before eating the rest on the stick.
  • I’m a burger upside-down person.
  • I eat the whites of a hard-boiled egg before, and sometimes without, eating the yolk. Is that weird? I don’t actually know if that’s weird.
  • Combing your hair with a dinglehopper is very soothing. Wait, sorry, that’s The Little Mermaid.

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Point being, I doubt Madonna actually uses a spoon to consume wine, but if she does, more power to her. Maybe it doesn’t stain her teeth/lips, as a commenter on the post suggested. Maybe it changes the experience of smelling the wine. Or maybe she just likes it. You should eat whatever you want, however you want, provided you’re not ruining someone else’s meal (or day at work) in the process.

Try ice cream with a fork. It’s fun.