WWE ice cream bars were the best frozen treat that ever was and the best that ever will be, and now they’re back, baby! Can I get a hell yeah!
I honestly have no idea why it took so long for this to happen; CM Punk has been hassling the McMahons about this for damn well near a decade, and the WWE loves branded food products, like waffle makers and The Official WWE Cookbook written by... me.
Though I initially considered putting an ice cream bar recipe in the book, it would have been pointless without a picture of The Iron Sheik, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, or any of the ’80s greats stenciled on their tasty cakey coating. From the looks of things, the new stick-free ice cream sandwiches will feature John Cena (of course) and three of my favorite wrestlers of all time: the ferocious Becky Lynch, “the guy” Roman Reigns (don’t @ me), and Macho Man Randy Frickin’ Savage. As happy as I am for these sandwiches, if there were no Macho Man I would have declared them garbage and written a strongly worded op-ed that would’ve made Vince McMahon cry, like, a lot.
Which wrestler did you hope you’d get when your mom bought you a WWE ice cream bar? Who are you hoping for now? I’m crossing my fingers for Asuka, but I know that’s highly unlikely, since no one is ready for Asuka.