Last Call: Would you narc out an annoying ice cream truck?

Screenshot of Homer Simpson driving ice cream truck
Screenshot: Chris Thompson/YouTube (Fair Use)

This morning, we reported on a recent letter to the editor penned by a New Jersey gentleman who was simply fed up. The writer laments the repetitive jangling tones of his neighborhood ice cream truck, writing that Mister Softee must be “desperate” to blast the neighborhood “for two-plus hours a day as the truck makes its rounds at 1 MPH.” This angered Jerseyite also suggests that the Mister Softee jingle is distracting while “the wife is on a video call with a federal judge,” which could certainly be inconvenient depending on the nature of the call.

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The letter to the editor is as crotchety as can be, but it’s also pretty relatable for anyone who’s had to listen to the screams of neighborhood children as they chase after a truck full of Tweety Bird popsicles with gumballs for eyes. Depending on your neighborhood, your local ice cream vendor might project a gently tinkling tune, or they might blast “It’s a Small World” at a Satan-summoning volume. But is an annoying ice cream jingle sufficient reason to write a strongly-worded letter to your local paper, especially when you could probably just jog outside, pick up a Bomb Pop, and ask the driver to tone it down a little?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. God knows I’ve done some cranky stuff this year, including but not limited to passive-aggressively muttering “thanks for nothing” when flouncing past an unmasked dog walker. But I’m not sure if minor annoyances like this one justify publishing your grievances in print. If you’ve got strong thoughts on the matter, I’d like to hear from you.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

I’m a cranky person by nature, as a middle-aged man who lives alone. I like quiet.

But I draw a hard line in the sand at “ruining the fun of children.” I remember being a kid, hearing the ice cream truck, and Pavlov’s-dogs-style, “MOM CAN I HAVE A DOLLAR FOR ICE CREAM?!?!?!?!”

I don’t care if you’re on a Zoom call with the resurrected Christ. Ice cream trucks make children’s lives better. Let them be.