Last Call: What would your Diet Coke button do?

Illustration for article titled Last Call: What would your Diet Coke button do?
Illustration: Anastasiia_New (Getty Images)

Earlier today, we reported that the Biden administration ditched President Donald Trump’s Diet Coke button. If you’re unfamiliar, the button sat on the President’s desk in the Oval Office, and when he pressed it, it would summon a butler who came toting a crisp Diet Coke to fulfill all his caffeination and hydration needs.

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The Emergency Diet Coke button may be gone, but the idea of rapid-fire beverage delivery at the press of a button remains... tantalizing. Very tantalizing. So tantalizing that it sparked a discussion among the Takeout team: “What would your Diet Coke button do?”

Associate editor Aimee Levitt’s button would initiate deliveries of fresh-baked cookies and milk, while my fellow staff writer Allison Robicelli would opt for “a selection of fine cheeses.” Editor-in-chief Marnie Shure’s button butler would deliver room-temperature La Croix, and mine would come bearing Special K Chocolatey Delight or perfectly fresh Sour Patch Kids. Also maybe a plate of melba toast with pre-sliced cheese on top. Finally, staff writer Dennis Lee would like to request one (1) Monster energy drink. How about you, readers? As you prepare to shimmy into a Trump-free weekend, we’d like you to ponder: What would your Diet Coke button do?

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

Nitelight62
Nitelight62

Send an electric shock through Donald John Trump.