Last Call: Observing The Most Endearing Of Fake Holidays

At The Takeout, our inboxes runneth over with press releases heralding the debut of new breakfast cereals or fast food promotions with all the pomp and circumstance of a coronation. (I guess in the case of Burger King, this makes sense.) Many such emails alert us to "holidays" we wouldn't otherwise be aware of. For instance, did you know there's both a National Wine Day (May 25) and a National Drink Wine Day (February 18)? Or that National Ice Cream Day is coming up this Sunday? Most importantly of all, did you know that today, July 16, is National Corn Fritters Day?

National Corn Fritters Day. There's something so endearing, so unendingly adorable about a U.S. holiday, neither locally nor federally observed, dedicated to this highly specific application of corn, cornmeal, flour, eggs, and milk. Corn fritters are delicious, but who decided that they needed their own day of celebration? Big Corn, probably. But isn't it sufficient to celebrate National Corn On The Cob Day (June 11), National Popcorn Day (January 19), and National Corn Dog Day (March 16)? How did fritters find their place on the calendar alongside their arguably more notable corny brethren?

Actually, a quick search on the National Today database found that most of my favorite foods are represented, such as candy and nachos. That makes me wonder what other entries deserve to be included. While National Donut Day is June 5, I submit that there ought to be a National Cronut Day as well, honoring the hullaballoo that surrounded this posh dessert hybrid back in 2013. And while corn fritters are traditionally associated with the South, there are a lot of regional specialties missing from the calendar. I'd lobby for a National Pork Tenderloin Sandwich day if I knew who to email about that. Try searching the database for yourself and see what glaring omissions you find.