Last Call: It’s a very coronavirus Valentine’s Day

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It’s Valentine’s Day on Sunday, which I completely forgot about since I’ve been with my husband for nearly 16 years. I think we might have done something to celebrate our first Valentine’s Day together, entirely out of principle, but whatever it was, I don’t remember it. If you are currently single, in a new relationship, or another situation that has forced you to start freaking out about Valentine’s Day à la Quarantine, please calm down. True love isn’t about chocolate, roses, or teddy bears. True love is someone who will sit next to you when you’re sick on the bathroom floor, wiping the fever sweat from your brow. It’s opening the fridge and finding it full of your favorite yogurt, because someone noticed it was on sale and remembered how much you like it. It’s building a massive collection of inside jokes. Grand romantic gestures are for the movies; silly ones are for real life. I don’t remember any of the Valentine’s Days, but I’ve never forgotten all the little things.

We’re nearing the end of our first year of canceled holidays, and while for most of them we did our best to make lemonade out of lemons, I think Valentine’s Day is the one holiday that might actually be improved by our current unfortunate circumstances. This is a holiday that managed to get completely out of hand and continued to get worse with each passing year. No one should be going into debt buying diamond bracelets and brand-new cars a mere seven weeks after Christmas. Romantic restaurant dinners should happen any night except February 14, a night that’s guaranteed to be crowded and chaotic. You can give someone flowers or chocolate (or both!) literally any day of the year, and it is much more romantic to get them “just because.” Valentine’s Day 2021 is going to be smaller than ever, and we need to keep it that way!

Here are the big plans my husband and I have for Sunday: first, we’re going to sleep until at least 11, then we’ll spend the day watching TV and playing video games with the kids, because what else is there to do, really? Then we’ll eat some sort of dinner, which I haven’t planned yet, because after all my body has gone through for Pizza Week, I don’t want to think about food that hard. After dinner we’re going to watch more TV. Honestly, even in a non-quarantine year, I cannot imagine a better way to spend Valentine’s Day with my husband.


Tell us all your thoughts, plans, and unpopular opinions about Valentine’s Day. Anyone cooking something special? Any memorable February 14s in years past? Does anyone actually like this damn holiday, or are we all just pretending?