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Last Call: Doughnuts, but make it fashion

Product shots of a woman wearing a doughnut Halloween costume and a man dressed up as a Dunkin' cup
Photo: Spirit Halloween
Last CallLast CallLast Call is The Takeout’s online watering hole where you can chat, share recipes, and use the comment section as an open thread. Here’s what we’ve been reading/watching/listening around the office today.

Even though this year’s Halloween celebrations might bear little resemblance to October 31s past, Spirit Halloween—a chain of seasonal stores that shows up like a mysterious apparition each year to sell us and our children overpriced bagged polyester before disappearing in the dead of night—is insistent upon pretending that nothing at all has changed. Of course it is; its survival depends on maintaining and encouraging that imagined reality. And hey, even if you’re not planning on hitting up many Halloween parties this year, it might be a good time to take advantage of Spirit sales and coupons and stock up on costumes for your kid to clomp around the house in when they get bored. You can tell them it’s Halloween every few days and they’d be more than happy to maintain the fantasy!

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You might even be interested in the latest Spirit collaboration with Dunkin’, seen in the photo above, which is available for purchase here. I personally wasn’t that interested... at least, not at first. But then I realized that history’s greatest fashion accessory was hiding in plain sight. I read the details of what the doughnut costume includes, and I can confirm that the doughnut headband in the photo comes with the costume. The doughnut headband is a thing you can purchase, own, and wear anytime you want. Computer, enhance:

Close-up of woman in doughnut costume wearing a headband resembling a chain of doughnuts
Photo: Spirit Halloween
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Does this headband not scream 2020 to anyone else? Why not wear a chain of doughnuts around your head like it’s normal and cool? The fashion world has been turned upside-down anyway. Beauty is just for us now, no one else. I haven’t worn mascara in over six months and I haven’t had a haircut in nine. You think I won’t buy this? So help me god, I’ll buy this. When we can move freely about the world once more, you’re going to see one big, ridiculous walking novelty strolling out my front door, because life is short, my hair has grown too long, and when it catches the breeze only a plush crown of doughnuts can tame it.

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

I desperately want the much diminished Dunkin to go out of business so that someone can start making donuts that taste good again.

The donuts at Dunkin are now so bad they took them out of their name.