Last Call: Are some foods strictly nighttime-only?

Woman eating grapes in bed next to sleeping husband
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Last CallLast CallLast Call is The Takeout’s online watering hole where you can chat, share recipes, and use the comment section as an open thread. Here’s what we’ve been reading/watching/listening around the office today.

Earlier today, we published a review of the controversial (and delicious) new Everything Bagel flavor from Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams. Everything Bagel, which is very, very bagel-y indeed, is billed by Jeni’s as ice cream suited for “any time of day,” including breakfast. Coincidentally, National Ice Cream for Breakfast Day is coming up on Saturday, February 6. This got us wondering: should certain foods be restricted to certain times of day? Is ice cream, or other food, best consumed after dark?

Personally, I think life’s too short to restrict ice cream habits, but my coworkers do have some designated nighttime foods. Takeout editor-in-chief Marnie Shure has what she describes as “a weirdly long list of nighttime-only foods” like pizza, which she only eats after sundown. My fellow staff writer Allison Robicelli hates eggs at breakfast and lunch, but loves eating them after dark. I can’t do poultry for breakfast, but other than that I live life pretty free and easy. What about you? Do you have designated daytime/nighttime foods, or do you live life on the wild side? Please discuss.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

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DISCUSSION

eddie-brannan
Eddie-Brannan

Takeout editor-in-chief Marnie Shure has what she describes as “a weirdly long list of nighttime-only foods” like pizza, which she only eats after sundown. My fellow staff writer Allison Robicelli hates eggs at breakfast and lunch, but loves eating them after dark. I can’t do poultry for breakfast, but other than that I live life pretty free and easy.

These are all such bad takes as to be worthy of immediate banishment.

  • Leftover pizza is what God eats most Saturday mornings and always on the Monday after Superbowl. It is why air fryers were invented (all other uses are happy coincidences).
  • Hating eggs at breakfast is just perverse, and they have no place at dinner except for binding yummy stuff to fried stuff. People who eat omelettes for dinner should never be trusted, and they have terrible taste in poetry.
  • Poultry for breakfast is less cut and dried, but talking of cut and dried poultry, I prefer Applegate Naturals Turkey Bacon (but only this particular brand: most turkey bacon is clearly made from turkey ass) to regular pig unless we’re talking about premium stuff like @thabaconer or @scahllerweber.

What about you? Do you have designated daytime/nighttime foods, or do you live life on the wild side?

Cereal should never be eaten after 12pm (controversial in the US, I know, but I stand by it). If you rise after noon proceed directly to lunch.

Nor should congee, or any other form of porridge, including grits.

Roast meats are typically only appropriate after dark, unless we’re talking barbecue, which should be eaten when it’s done. If that’s at 5am hold my beer and pass the napkins.

Parsnips, brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes etc should never be seen when the sun is up (if at all). Hall pass on Thanksgiving.

Eating mashed potatoes at any other meal than dinner is barbarity.

This is a thorny one, but sandwiches that are unambiguously sandwiches are best served at breakfast or lunch. Burgers and their ilk are dinner-appropriate but for whatever reason a pastrami on rye or a turkey club is not, although this is a rule I would break under certain circumstances eg road trip or high AF (when high AF all rules go out the window). An EBC, of course, is always breakfast. Bagel sandos can pass muster at lunch, especially in the case of lox with onions, capers, and a schmear, but only those without egg.

That’s it for now, although I’m sure there are more.