No, these cans are for pouring into “proper glassware” while enjoying a “quiet night in” with “friends.” Definitely not for shotgunning 5 minutes before your Lyft arrives to drag you to another heinous blind date that you neglected to even wash your hair for. No. Definitely not for that.

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Should you so lucky as to have dozens of “friends” that you invite to many “dinner parties,” WineSociety has your back with cases of these tallboy wines. You social butterfly, you.