Try as we might to convince ourselves otherwise, doughnuts are not breakfast—they’re dessert. They’re fried dough covered in icing, a type A funnel cake, if you will. There’s nothing wrong with this; doughnuts are always excellent, no matter what time of day they’re eaten. But I do appreciate it when they’re honest about their nature, and to that end, the first thing you should know about Krispy Kreme’s new line of Dessert Doughnuts is that they’re pure sugar with extra sugar on top.
Though you can purchase them individually at stores, Krispy Kreme is advertising its three new limited-time-only flavors as a “collection,” and you can order a Dessert Dozen for pickup or delivery. The Dessert Dozen contains three Banana Pudding doughnuts, three Coconut Cake doughnuts, three Mississippi Mud Pie doughnuts, and three Original Glazed doughnuts. Why, you might wonder, are the latter included, rather than just giving customers four of each dessert flavor? I can only imagine they’re meant to be digestifs, because the dessert doughnuts are belly bombs that necessitate a nap immediately after eating. Again, not a bad thing! In a non-COIVD-19 world, this collection would have been purchased for office break rooms, with every doughnut cut into several pieces with a flimsy plastic fork for sharing. Instead, the doughnuts were delivered directly to my door, and even shared among my family of five (including four hungry males), we couldn’t make it through a dozen of these, though we spent an entire day grazing on them. A word of warning: if you order the Dessert Dozen, plan on freezing several of them in a plastic baggie for later.
As for the quality and merits of the individual doughnuts, read on for my worst-to-best rankings.