If there’s one thing that the world didn’t need, it’s a new lifestyle website by a Kardashian, but we obviously live in trying times. So this week, Kourtney Kardashian launched Poosh (not in any way to be confused with Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop; what’s next, Bool? Whoon?), which, as one commenter put it, is a word that sounds like “a gentle fart.” The stark site features articles including Kris Jenner’s takes on how to be a boss, and “Must-haves For A Relaxing Night In” (“To start the chill-out process, unwind with CBD gummies.” Sure, why not.) Like Goop, Poosh attempts to offer helpful life suggestions from multi-millionaires to those of us who are far from millionaire status.
But there’s one recipe that The Washington Post, among others, takes issue with in an article titled, “Kourtney Kardashian has a ‘signature salad’ recipe, and we have questions.” The paper’s question number one: Does this plate of random food objects actually constitute a salad?
The so-called salad is comprised of half an avocado, two hard-boiled eggs, a tomato, balls of mozzarella, salt, pepper and olive oil. The Post is skeptical: “The website calls it a ‘a healthy and filling dish,’ which is an awfully quaint fiction.”
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“Filling” is in the eye of the beholder, but the main problem seems to be the salad’s presentation, with each ingredient occupying its own quadrant of the plate, not combined as salads so often are. Still, the Post acquiesces, “Yes, unfortunately, this is a salad.” As we here at The Takeout discovered last summer during Unhealthy Salads Week, even strawberry, cream cheese, and pretzels can constitute a salad, as can mayonnaise alongside a variety of food items. What is the Caprese, for example, if not just a semi-composed selection of ingredients? Although it’s somehow a much more palatable collection than “Kourt’s Signature Salad,” which is like a Cobb salad minus all the fun stuff like dressing, bacon, and lettuce. We anxiously await her recipes for PBJs and BLTs.
Among Poosh’s many sections (Beauty, Travel, Fitness, Health) is a page full of recipes, like Kris’ “Famous Brownie Recipe” and Kourt’s “Berry Smoothie Kids Will Actually Want To Drink.” (What kid doesn’t like a berry smoothie?) The Paloma Cocktail and Matcha Pancakes do seem considerably more involved than this beleaguered salad. Maybe it’s a just a random outlier, but we maintain: Kourt’s Signature Salad stands as a salad. It is also a particularly lame one. May we suggest Kate Bernot’s Meat Lover’s Panzanella, basically a deconstructed pizza, instead?