First of all, cow’s tongue isn’t that weird—has it had tacos or Jewish food lately?—though presented in that way, it does look pretty gnarly. Second, the single funniest thing about this segment is that anyone had any doubt what Bryant was going to pick, and how he’d rank the players in question when he chose that option.


Seriously, how did he resist the urge to say, “Oh, if you insist” before putting himself on the top of that list? What’s next, is Corden going to ask Tom Brady to rank quarterbacks with smug faces or he’ll have to eat a Twinkie?

Bryant’s ranking, as stated, is 1) Bryant, 2) Jordan, 3) James. His actual ranking is probably Bryant, Bryant, Bryant, Bryant while sleepwalking, baseball’s own Michael Jordan, everyone but Shaq, restauranteur and fictional genie Shaquille O’Neal. With regard to LeBron, he’d probably go full Mariah Carey.

He’s wrong.

Kobe Bryant has more Oscars than David Lynch and Glenn Close. Kobe Bryant’s ranking of that group would definitely be Kobe Bryant, Cruella de Vil, loud guy from Twin Peaks. Looking forward to his career as world’s greatest living creator of books about wizards. Kobe Bryant’s ranking of people who write books about wizards: Kobe Bryant, the Harry Potter lady, everyone else, Shaq.