It’s football season, and you all know what that means: wings! It just so happens that KFC has begun selling wings again. And KFC is so thoughtful: It delivers! But yesterday the chain’s generosity went above and beyond. The Seasoned Tickets promotion, which went on sale at 8 AM Eastern via StubHub, promised that, for a mere $75, KFC will deliver 48 Kentucky Fried Wings to your very doorstep every week for the next nine weeks, and then 96 wings in the tenth week, because the playoffs are especially stressful. It even comes with a seasoned ticket that smells like fried chicken. As Ad Age points out, this is actually a pretty good deal: “Each order of 48 KFC wings usually costs $36.99. Each subscriber gets 528 wings—a $406.89 value—for just $75, delivery included.”
Unfortunately, the 500 Seasoned Tickets sold out by 9:52 AM, according to a KFC press release, or before many people on the West Coast were even fully caffeinated and ready to start thinking about chicken wings. How sad for them! Or maybe not, since Kentucky Fried Wings are disappointingly mediocre and you could do just as well with Tyson frozen wings from the grocery store. Except no one delivers them to you. It’s a problem.
There is something nice about a standing order of food, that just comes, without you having to think about it. For a brief period in my childhood, we had a milkman. Every few days, a carton of milk would magically appear in a little metal box we left on our front porch. I can’t remember if the milk tasted any better, but I thought the metal box was neat. These days, I would prefer coffee beans. (Though as a matter of principle, I prefer to buy from local roasters, and I vary where I buy them to support everyone equally.) Freshly baked pastry or doughnuts every weekend morning would also be nice. What are some other excellent standing food orders?