Photo: Jim Watson/APF (Getty Images)

Today, Representative Steve Cohen, a Democrat from Tennessee’s 9th congressional district, brought a bucket of KFC to Congress, for what you might call “lols.”

The Daily Beast reports that Cohen brought the bucket of chicken to a scheduled House Judiciary Committee hearing. The reason: the refusal of Attorney General William Barr to sit before the committee and discuss his handling of the Mueller report. Get it? Barr is chicken? From CNN:

Barr’s decision to skip the House’s hearing stems from committee Democrats’ demand that he face questions from staff lawyers in a 30-minute block, in addition to the five-minute rounds of questions from lawmakers.

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But we’re not here to discuss Barr. We’ll leave that to other publications, like G/O Media sister site Splinter. We’re here because of the chicken, and the jokes.

Some thoughts:

  • This meeting took place around 9 a.m. Where’d he get that chicken? The KFCs closest to me open at 10:30 a.m.
  • Did he have an assistant buy this the night before? Fried chicken can be pretty damn tasty cold, but I don’t know about cold KFC.
  • If you watch the video above, he also brought two buckets, initially putting the smaller bucket in the bigger bucket. Then he turned the bigger bucket over to use as a little stand for the smaller bucket, the better for cameras to catch this super duper extra hilariously funny haha lmfao joke. Why did he bring two? Why was one empty?
  • Now, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to a KFC, but a quick glance at the company’s website makes it look like that bucket is not the bucket currently used by the company—they all say KFC now, not Kentucky Fried Chicken. It’s possible that a franchisee is still using old buckets, I suppose, but still weird. Did he just have that bucket? Is that why there are two buckets, a new one and a bigger old one? Did he get it on eBay? Has he just been waiting for a chance to use this chicken joke? WHY IS IT AN OLD BUCKET?
  • Seriously, I have to know if he just has an old KFC bucket sitting around. We’ve reached out to KFC about the design of the bucket (truly) and will update with additional information.
  • Why not Popeye’s?
  • He also brought this statue of a chicken:
Photo: Jim Watson/AFP (Getty Images)

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  • Was one joke just not enough? He couldn’t decide what was funnier? Did he not take an improv class in college? It’s funnier if you focus on the strongest thing and “yes-and” from there; don’t wander off on a new bit before you’re done chewing. There are much better Dad Jokes out there!

In general, Congress doesn’t do prop comedy well, and the Barr stuff is a pretty big deal for, you know, the country, so I guess my biggest question is this:

  • How is it possible that Rep. Cohen has no one in his life willing to warn him how dumb this was going to be?

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In short, this moment in governance probably best summarized by the face of Representative Val Demings of Florida, seated in front of Barr, at the very end of this video:

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In closing, a brief word from Kate Bernot about chickens:

This story made me wonder: When did chickens become synonymous with cowardice? A linguistic link has existed for centuries, but why? I’ve seen my backyard chickens catch and dismember live field mice; they are no ’fraidy cats.

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