The best things in life are fleeting: a technicolor sunset, the laughter of children, KFC’s coming-soon Cheetos sandwich. The latter will debut July 1 and grace us with its presence for a mere four weeks. ’Tis better to have loved and lost, it’s said.
No, we haven’t been able to try this sandwich for ourselves yet, but we’re already experiencing something like a crush. Per a press release, the sandwich takes what a solid fast-food item—the KFC Extra Crispy Chicken Sandwich—then layers the chicken over mayonnaise and actual Cheetos (!), then tops it with Cheeto sauce (an entirely new state of matter for Cheetos). It harnesses the power of Cheetos, factorially.
You’ll permit me a few sentences of Cheetos sandwich-related fan fiction, right?
I’m already imagining picking it up from the drive-thru, the one just down the straight-shot highway out of town, the road of possibility and dreams. The bag sits on the passenger seat next to me, almost a companion, a presence. The smell of Cheetos dust and mayonnaise begins to fill the car, and I inhale deeply, holding the air in until it presses against my chest. I’d intended to save the sandwich until I got home, but there’s an immediacy to the bag on the passenger seat. It makes demands of my attention. With one hand on the wheel, I dig into the paper bag, all crinkles and box-squeak. This is the start of something new, the rest of my life. I press the accelerator, and I drive away from town.
Editor’s note to her IRL friends and family: I promise to never abandon my life for a fast-food chicken sandwich, even if it is topped with Cheetos and mayonnaise.