Thank you, journalists, for warning us about the dangers of “lunging vegans”

Illustration for article titled Thank you, journalists, for warning us about the dangers of “lunging vegans”
Photo: David McNew / Stringer (Getty Images)

The animal rights activists of Los Angeles don’t just talk about artificial insemination in their Oscars acceptance speeches or rescue baby calves from slaughter. Sometimes they take their message to the political stage, and that’s how we got the following headline from The Washington Post today: “Jill Biden’s epic tussle: In split-second blocking maneuver, she protects husband from lunging vegans.” Lunging vegans. That’s one colorful and wordy way of saying “protestors,” and the internet couldn’t be happier with the choice.

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Last night former vice president Joe Biden took to the stage in Los Angeles to deliver a victory speech in light of his Super Tuesday comeback. In the middle of it, multiple protestors charged the stage holding signs that said “LET DAIRY DIE” and shouting the same slogan. The first protestor was taken down by someone, presumably a bodyguard, behind the lectern. The second one was taken down by Dr. Jill Biden herself, in a scene that Timothy Bella of the Post describes with all the flair of a dime-store thriller:

“Reacting with lightning speed, the former second lady swung around, extended her arms, grabbed her by the wrists and then blocked her with a stiff-arm. Wincing, she pushed the woman back as her husband and sister-in-law looked on with concern during the sudden confrontation.”

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Naturally, Twitter is having a whole lot of fun with the Post’s harrowing account of the “lunging vegans”:

The Post adds that this isn’t the first time that the former second lady has come to her husband’s rescue this way: “In February, on the eve of the New Hampshire primary, she popped up from her chair and blocked a heckler from getting any closer to her husband before escorting him out.” A woman’s work is never done.

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Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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