If this year has made you wonder if God has abandoned us, fear not! He is most definitely still here, and to reassure us of His existence, He has once again sent to us His only begotten son... in a potato.
The Bristol Post reports that Nikki Halkerston, a woman from Dundee, Scotland, recently found Jesus Christ hiding in a £1.15 sack of potatoes from Aldi.
“As soon as I put the packet on the kitchen top I saw it,” said Halkerston. “I was staring at it and it was just quite obvious it was Jesus’ face. It was just looking at me.”
Halkerston then asked her husband, who she says is normally skeptical about such things, to evaluate the possibly sacred potato. He agreed that the spots on the potato looked very much like Jesus.
It’s unclear whether or not God had planned for the potato to deliver us from evil, but if that was the plan then humankind is completely screwed, as Halkerston admits she has eaten the potato.