Jack Daniel’s has no patience for dog poop jokes

Naughty chihuahua relaxes surrounded by tiny whiskey glasses and cigarettes
Image: maiteali (Getty Images)

My dogs, Turtle and Archie, don’t usually cause much of a stir when left alone. But I do like to imagine a scenario in which I step out for the evening, Archie waits to hear the front door click shut, and then Turtle ushers in the neighborhood dogs through the back for a legendary rager.

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This scenario is outlandish for many reasons, namely because my dogs are lazy and famously hate partying. But more vice-ridden canines may recognize a certain whiskey-shaped dog toy—a toy that’s been the subject of a legal battle for nearly seven years.

Way back in 2014, Jack Daniel’s sent a cease-and-desist letter to VIP Products, the maker of Silly Squeakers pet products. The item in question: The toy company’s “Bad Spaniels” toy, which is shaped like a squeaky bottle of Jack. The toy’s label swaps Jack’s iconic “Old No. 7 Tennessee sour mash whisky” slogan for the very cheeky “Old No. 2 On Your Tennessee Carpet.”

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It’s an innocent bit of bathroom humor, but it doesn’t sit right with Jack Daniel’s. “Jack Daniel’s has invested substantial resources into an image of sophistication,” the company’s attorney Lisa Blatt said. “Accordingly, Jack Daniel’s has a strong interest in protecting its trademarks and trade dress from association with juvenile bathroom humor.”

Booooo-riiiiing.

After Jack Daniel’s sent its original cease-and-desist, VIP Products responded with a lawsuit of its own. According to the Arizona Capitol Times, in the first case, a judge ruled in favor of Jack Daniel’s. VIP Products then appealed the court’s decision, taking matters to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. Now, Jack Daniel’s is hoping to take things straight to the top—the U.S. Supreme Court. Here’s hoping the phrase “43% Poo by Vol.’’ pleases the court.

Staff writer @ The Takeout. Pork shoulder princess @ Chicago.

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DISCUSSION

“Jack Daniel’s has invested substantial resources into an image of sophistication

Sophistication? Really? That is NOT the image I associate with JD. The again, just because you’ve “invested substantial resources” doesn’t mean you’re getting a good ROI.