Photo: Philadelphia Dips

As far as silly marketing stunts go, the Philadelphia Dips Double Diptector is a pretty solid one. It’s silly and novel, both perks, but more practically for us, it prompted a humdinger of a conversation in the Takeout morning staff meeting.

But we’ll get to that in a moment. First things first: the Double Diptector!

Philadelphia, maker of cream cheeses and (more recently) dips, has created a smart device that purportedly detects double dippers. As the above video (which has garnered, no joke, 1.17 million views since its release on Tuesday) shows, the Double Diptector connects to the camera on one’s smartphone, then uses “motion technology” to track dips. It sets off an alarm when it senses a double dip (here, two dips in quick succession, from the same direction it seems?) and snaps a photo so that all will know who had the audacity to bring the horse to the same trough twice.

As of this writing, the prototype is going for $560 on eBay.

The existence of the Double Diptector (nice portmanteau, Philadelphia) led the Takeout staff to debate this very issue. The question, for us, is not whether or not double-dipping is a practice that should be encouraged. We are men and women of science, we know everyone spitting in everyone else’s food would be a public health nightmare. No, where we differ is in our opinions about whether or not a double-dip is ever acceptable, and if so, when that might be.

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Among us, Gwen Ihnat is the hard-liner. For her, it’s a firm never. Gwen is essentially the guy from Seinfeld, though she would never make such a scene at a social gathering. Her argument is that it’s gross and unhygienic, which, fair.

Kate Bernot and Kevin Pang sit basically in the same camp. In their eyes, if you’re with family or close friends, it’s cool, because you’ve probably got all their germs already. At a party? No. While bingeing Succession with your partner? Go nuts. Leave no dip un-chipped.

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Me, I’m less concerned with when than the approach. I wash my hands before I eat, because I’m a grown-ass woman, and I have noticed, over many long years, that a tortilla chip has three points. My approach is simple: Dip, bite, rotate. Dip, bite, rotate. Dip, final bite.

Anyway, the Double Diptector doesn’t account for my rotation and thus I reject its authority. It’s still a funny idea, though.

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