But what is so pedestrian about putting the coffee in a cup and then drinking it? We are not in it for foam selfies or annoying accoutrements, but the straight-up caffeine, in the strongest doses available. We’d rather our food and drink focus on deliciousness over attractiveness—or if we’re being honest, your social media cachet.


Plus, any food establishment adding glitter to their roster obviously doesn’t staff any parents or failed crafters. Both of those populations are certain of one thing: Glitter is eternal. You can pour it out of its little plastic container and try to contain it, but you will fail. It will get everywhere. In cutlery drawers. In napkin holders. It will fly onto your face and adhere to your left cheekbone, making it appear as if you attended a rave over your lunch hour.

We’ll take our glitter safely contained in a bad Mariah Carey movie, thanks: