You can actually only have this beer if you happen to be near the brewery at about 4 p.m., in which case you can maybe get it for free and a free burger besides. But you won’t get a beer called In-N-Stout in a can like that, because the day after Seven Stills announced this barrel-aged Neapolitan milk stout, In-N-Out hit them with a cease-and-desist letter (per the San Francisco Gate).

We say this with all due sincerity: Whatever lawyer wrote this letter, if you ever get tired of making what we assume is a buttload of money, please let us know, because we think you’ve got a real future in pun-laced food writing, and that’s kind of our thing.

Some highlights:

• “Based on your use of our marks, we felt obligated to hop to action in order to prevent further issues from brewing.”
• “We hope you appreciate, however, that we are attempting to clearly distill our rights by crafting an amicable approach with you, rather than barrel through this.” That’s a 3-for-1.
  
• “Please contact us as soon as possible, so this does not continue to ferment.”

Seven Stills co-founder Tim Obert told a CBS affiliate in San Francisco, “I hope I have the same attitude that In-N-Out has had towards it and have a good sense of humor. Because I know that there’s no malcontent and we’re obviously not trying to go there and sabotage In-N-Out’s branding.”

Seven Stills seems to be reveling in the cease-and-desist-iness of it all, and hey, we’re writing about it, so the ploy seems to have worked as planned, even if it did require a name and can change. But whatever it’s called in the end, the milkshake-inspired beer sounds pretty delicious: Strawberry purée ferments in a chocolate vanilla stout, and is then blended with a barrel-aged coffee porter. It clocks in at a 13.5 percent A.B.V., so those lucky enough to pay the brewery a visit might want to lay down a base first. May we suggest a Double-Double?