Lala and Squinty McSquinterson in happier times (Photo: Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images)

In a reality show full of terrible people, James was the worst person on Real Housewives spin-off Vanderpump Rules from the moment he first stepped in front of a camera: a spoiled, whiny child-man intent on alienating virtually everyone while pushing his non-talent as a DJ. It takes a whole new level of assholery to be even a bigger jerk than Jax. In fact, one of James’ only remaining Vanderpump friends is the steadfastly loyal Lala.

The two now both have other significant others: James with Raquel and Lala with recently divorced movie producer Randall Emmett, according to E! Online. On Monday’s episode, there was apparently an altercation over pasta threatening the pair’s long-term friendship. Lala ate some of James’ girlfriend Raquel’s pasta, which was apparently enough to set off a landmark feud even by Vanderpump standards. As even the title of the episode tells us, “It’s Not About The Pasta.” But even though James kept screaming that statement, we are goddamned if we can tell what it is about.

Naturally this fight has now moved on to Twitter, where Lala refused to celebrate James’ birthday with him this week:

By our count, we think that means James is down to a single friend: Raquel. Better buy her some more pasta, James.

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