Wait, Crap, Why Aren't We All Frying Our Toast?

I've been such a fool! I've stumbled through the world for nearly three decades, convinced I knew how to make a proper slice of toast. But then I read this article from Washington Post reporter Aaron Hutcherson, and I realized I've been depriving myself of toasty pleasure for my entire life. In the article, Hutcherson makes a seemingly simple, but groundbreaking, suggestion: make your toast in a skillet, not a toaster.

What have I been doing with myself? Why have I spent so many years at the mercy of my $25 Hamilton Beach toaster?!

To achieve perfect skillet toast, Hutcherson recommends the following method: first, melt a bunch of butter (or "a good glug of olive oil") in a nonstick skillet over medium-low to medium heat. Then, add your slices of bread, making sure each slice soaks up maximum fat. Then just fry it to your liking, one to two minutes per side.

"Yes, it's a little more work than simply pressing a button, but the payoff in texture and flavor is more than worth it," Hutcherson writes, lauding the fried toast's "textural wonderland of a soft, pliant interior and a crispy, crunchy exterior."

Oh, also: make sure you opt for a hearty slice before frying. A thin slice, like your standard white Wonder bread, might be bit too flimsy to stand up to the oil, while a soft bread like challah may not be able to support your various toppings.

Speaking of which: Hutcherson also cites toast expert Chef Carrie Baird, who recommends topping your fried toast with texture-heavy goodies. "I love seeds, nuts, sticky things like honey and jam," Baird told Hutcherson. For more toast intel, check out the full article in The Washington Post. Farewell, cursed toaster, and thanks for nothing.