Illustration for article titled How acceptable is the amount of cream cheese on this bagel?
Photo: vincef (iStock)

Toronto Sun reporter Bryan Passifiume just wanted what so many of us want: a bagel that doesn’t skimp on the cream cheese. What his local McDonald’s gave him was inarguably, overwhelmingly the opposite.

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“I ordered extra cream cheese as they usually just apply it like butter, but this is clearly just an exercise in passive-aggressiveness,” Passifiume tweeted alongside photo evidence of the impossibly-cream-cheesed bagel, dubbed the “McMonstrosity” as his tweet quickly went viral.

“How could I possibly eat this?” Passifiume asked, and over the course of the day, the question shifted from literal to ethical: after hours of posting photos of the bagel beside common household objects for size comparison, and encouraging coworkers to pose with the bagel and display their shock, it became clear that only a monster would eat something that had become such an intriguing, endearing curiosity. Passifiume wrapped it up safely and left it at the office overnight. Then ordered another one the next morning for comparison.

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Time wrote up the whole ordeal for your perusal, and we encourage you to read the whole Twitter thread. All we wish to add is that there’s a precise Goldilocks zone when it comes to cream cheese on a bagel, and in the opinion of this writer, at least, both bagels exceed it.

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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