Valentine’s Day can be tough for the unattached. Just ask me, I once broke up with somebody on Valentine’s Day. I’ve scarcely ever felt worse about anything, although my mom assured me, “Oh honey. That’s just the day whether you know it or you don’t.”
So if you’re not feeling it this Valentine’s Day—maybe due to a recent breakup—Hooters is here to help. The chain is bringing back its “Shred Your Ex” promotion, wherein you can get 1o free wings with the purchase of 10, in exchange for a little info about your romantic past.
To redeem your free wings, you can bring in a photo of your ex to shred at a Hooters restaurant and/or fill out an online quiz that will ask you important questions, like what famed celerity breakup your relationship devastation most closely resembles. (Ariana & Pete? Jennifer & Brad?) Based on your answers, you will then receive advice to shred, burn, bury, or dart that old photo. You can also upload your ex’s photo to the website. And then get those free wings, of course.
Sadly, this offer is only available on Valentine’s Day, but isn’t that the day when you’ll need the excess wings/cathartic shredding the most? As Hooters puts it, “Shred ’Em And Forget ’Em,” and in this instance, Hooters is right. That unappreciative ex was unworthy of you. Time to move onward, at least to make some new memories you’ll be ready to shred by next Valentine’s Day.