Photo: Roberto Machado Noa/LightRocket (Getty Images)

Almost 10,000 outraged Maude Flanderses have signed an online petition calling for an apology and name change for Canadian ice cream chain Sweet Jesus. The petition states that the ice cream shop has “every intention of mocking Christ and Christianity. If anything could qualify as ‘hate speech’, this is it!”

Hoo boy. If you ask us, the only thing sinful at Sweet Jesus is this pistachio and Nutella cone, amirite? But the activists have whipped this into an entire conspiracy theory, pointing out that the lightning-bolt design in the Sweet Jesus logo “mimics the Nazi symbol for Hitler’s paramilitary organization, the ‘SS’.” Pardon our French, but holy shit.

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There is honestly nothing more wholesome-looking than this ice cream shop’s website and branding. Pastel colors, cutely named confections, fluffy dogs eating ice cream cones. For some reason, it seems ice cream shops especially bring out the pearl-clutchers—remember the Dairy Air Ice Cream scandal?

Sweet Jesus’ website now includes a disclaimer aimed at mollifying the angry petitioners, stating: “Our name was created from the popular phrase that people use as an expression of enjoyment, surprise or disbelief. Our aim is not to offer commentary on anyone’s religion or belief systems. Our own organization is made up of amazing people that represent a wide range of cultural and religious beliefs.”

The CBC reports that Sweet Jesus has expanded into the U.S.—the shop’s website shows a location at Baltimore’s BWI Airport—so if you see some folks with torches and pitchforks headed that way, know they’re en route to wage a righteous war on sprinkles.

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