Last Call: Now that April Fool’s Day is over, we can tell you about... Cravy

Illustration for article titled Last Call: Now that April Fool’s Day is over, we can tell you about... Cravy
Image: Heinz/Ocean Spray
Last CallLast CallLast Call is The Takeout’s online watering hole where you can chat, share recipes, and use the comment section as an open thread. Here’s what we’ve been reading/watching/listening around the office today.

At The Takeout, April 1 is a scourge upon our inboxes. We’re bombarded by PR emails for a wide array of fun, exciting, and delicious-sounding products, all of which end with an emoji-laden “APRIL FOOL!!!” It’s led us to become a team of jaded skeptics who assume that any intriguing edibles released anywhere near this chunk of the calendar can’t possibly be real. That’s why I got extra confirmation from the marketing team behind this latest stunt is actually happening: Heinz Homestyle Gravy and Ocean Spray Cranberries are collaborating to produce Cravy, a jarred condiment that mashes up gravy and cranberry sauce into one unsettlingly mauve topping.


Okay, it’s not real yet—but the brands have every intention of making this product a reality if the public demands it. “After a wonderful think session with my friends at @oceansprayinc, we’ve decided to join forces for a flavorful concoction that might add a touch of magic to your meal,” Heinz wrote in a tweet polling users about the potential new mashup. If 250,000 votes are cast for “Indeed!” (over “I think not”), Cravy will go into honest-to-God production. There are five days left to vote, and there are currently more than 73,000 votes.

As of this writing, 67.4% of votes are for “I think not” versus only 32.6% of votes going to “Indeed!” (This is where I tell you that I cast my vote for “Indeed!” in order to view the results. You’re welcome, Cravy cravers.) This is where you come in, readers. Which way will you vote?

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.


What on earth is coming next? Ranch dressing and gravy - Ravey. Or gravy and mustard - Grustard. Mayonnaise and curry - Murry. Sriracha and curry - Srirry. The possibilities are endless. And horrible.