Haribo gummy rings, but make it fashion

Illustration for article titled Haribo gummy rings, but make it fashion
Photo: Taylor & Hart

Do you like candy and jewelry? Are you crazy in love and filthy, stinkin’ rich? Well then Taylor & Hart has created something special just for you! That’s right, for the low, low price of $34,300, you can give your soulmate the sort of proposal they’ve been dreaming of since the third grade with this Haribo-inspired engagement ring featuring rubies, diamonds, a big-ass yellow sapphire, and no artificial flavors or preservatives.

Advertisement

The centerpiece of the ring, Taylor & Hart boasts in a press release, is a 2.7 karat cabochon yellow sapphire, which is surrounded by 40 fancy-intense yellow diamonds. The band is made of a whopping 224 two-and-a-half karat rubies, and set into 18-karat rose gold. If your beloved doesn’t have much use for inedible jewelry, you can use your engagement ring fund to buy them 1,250,000 Haribo gummy rings instead.

If the Taylor & Hart ring is a bit out of your budget, you’ll be happy to know that Ring Pops remain relatively affordable, with a 20-pack going for about seven bucks on Amazon. For a little more than $100 you can get 285 of those, stash them in a box in the back of your closet, and just keep swapping out your fiance’s rings whenever they become covered with ants. I just saved you $34,200! You’re welcome, America.

Allison Robicelli is a writer, recipe czar, former professional chef, author of four (quite good) books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Tweet me for recipe help: @Robicellis.

DISCUSSION

szielins
Stephan Zielinski

The band is made of a whopping 224 two-and-a-half karat rubies, and set into 18-karat rose gold.

“Karat” is more commonly for how much precious metal there is in an alloy. 18 karat gold is 18/24 gold by mass, with the other 6/24 usually being a mix of copper and silver. “Carat” is more commonly the unit of mass, still in use because such things as “200 milligram diamond” reminds people they they’re paying a fortune for a very very very small and not all that uncommon pebble. (“Caret” is the punctuation mark. “Carrot” is the vegetable. And you KNOW I’ve screwed up and used the wrong one at LEAST once in the upcoming wall o’ text.)

But at 200 mg per carat, 224 2.5 carat rubies would mass 112 grams...

What https://taylorandhart.com/engagement-rings/sweet-engagement-ring says is

Which is why our sweet-inspired ring features a 2.70ct cabochon yellow sapphire set with 40 fancy-intense yellow diamonds in an 18ct yellow gold basket. 224 custom cut rubies totalling a weight of 3.60ct are invisible set into an 18ct rose gold band.

(Misspelled “totaling” no extra charge.) No mass is given for the diamond; I’d expect that to mean there’s too little of it present for that number to do anything but DETRACT from the impression of value. For the ruby, 3.60 carats divided by 224 pieces works out to an average mass of .016 carat. 3.2 milligrams is around thrice the mass of a grain of sand. We’re basically talking about the waste grit resulting from cutting a larger piece of material.  

Poking around, you could get 23 2mm rubies around .13 carat each for $299: https://www.ajsgem.com/burma-ruby/burma-ruby-3.00-carats.html .

That same vendor also has a faceted yellow sapphire at 2.76 carats for $1495: https://www.ajsgem.com/sapphire/yellow-sapphire/yellow-sapphire-2.76-carats.html

Gold’s about $54.84 / gram as I type this. A size 8 5mm band is about 5.8 g; at 18 karat, budget maybe $239 worth of gold, plus a little more for some silver.

And the images of that ring look like computer-generated mock-ups to me; very few of them, and they’re a bit blurry. Actually, I’m nigh positive they haven’t made one. Invisible sets cannot easily be resized. (If there’s a solitaire separate from the band, the band can be changed—but in that mockup, the band is covered with invisible set ruby.) If they did craft one, it’s not going to be enough to wait for someone silly enough to buy it; it also has to be someone both silly and with an inamorata of exactly the corresponding size.

Still, with the advertised materials being that cheap, if anyone’s knuckleheaded enough to phone in and say, “Yes, I want that thing from the web page, twenty five thousand pounds you say, fine by me,” they can glue together a Schmuck Bait Special quickly enough. (With chips that small, I’d hope they’d back up the sets with glue.)

(I am assuming they actually do use natural stones. Synthetic stones are VASTLY cheaper. I’ve bought semi-precious stones from gemsbiz.com before. [They’re in India; I’m in the USA. Took a while to convince the bank that no, my card had not been stolen; yes, I really did mean to pay a guy eight thousand miles away to mail me some rocks.] As I type this, they’ll sell you three 12mm synthetic rubies totaling 27.50 carats for $49.80, or a 40 carat synthetic yellow sapphire for $54.)