Chances are, if you had the misfortune of scrolling Twitter this weekend, you saw the discourse surrounding a 15-second clip of a restaurant employee cutting into a golden steak. The video drew Twitter’s ire for a number of reasons: first, because the original poster (henceforth known as the “OP”) claims the steak cost $600; second, because the steak looks objectively gross, with zero visible marbling and a sickly pink interior; and third, because the restaurant employee appears to be hacking into the steak with a woefully dull knife (one user noted that “bro is just pre-chewing the steak for them with that knife”).
Friends, let’s not forget: The steak is almost certainly the property of Salt Bae, the restauranteur my colleague Allison Robicelli once described as a “beloved meme, Instagram phenomenon, maestro of core strength, bachelor father of 13, and the man behind a global chain of obscenely expensive restaurants.” If you’re unfamiliar, Salt Bae’s Nusr-Et steakhouse chain is a celebrity trap known for outlandishly pricey entrees—specifically, a $1,000 gold-plated tomahawk. Nusr-Et seems to be the backdrop for the aforementioned Twitter video, which showcases an entree that the OP says “most mfs will never experience because they can’t afford to.”
Now, here’s the question: Do I, an average MF, avoid the golden steak because I can’t afford to experience it—or is it because this looks like a crapola steak? As some Twitter users noted, it looks like the OP “paid 6 bills for painted Chuck roast.”
I guess my question for you is this: If money were no object, would you order this steak? Assuming that you had $600 to blow, and blowing $600 on steak wouldn’t offend your proletariat sensibilities, would you be at all interested in trying this gold-crusted slab of meat? I think I’m out, but I’ll let you discuss amongst yourselves.