Someone stole 30,000 liters of glacier water from a vodka distillery

Photo: Anadolu Agency / Contributor (Getty Images)

Iceberg Vodka, a Toronto-based vodka distillery, recently discovered the theft of 30,000 liters (7925.1616 gallons) of iceberg water from a secure tank. According to The Drinks Business, police estimate the value of the water to be between $9,000 and $12,000 Canadian dollars ($6,791.13-$9,055.64 USD, £5,272.17-£7029.57...) That’s enough, per TDB, to make 150,000 bottles of the company’s vodka, and according to C.E.O. David Meyers, enough to fill a tractor trailer.

Meyers said the staff discovered the theft on February 11, finding that one of their 10 secure storage tanks had been emptied. Meyers told CBC News that the staff was shocked to be missing so much of the “precious water,” and that they “never, ever would have expected anyone to take such a quantity of water.” He went on:

“We’re talking about a significant amount of water here. Who would want it and what would they do with it? I mean, we’re scratching our head, I have to say.”

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The Drinks Business underlines that companies, like Iceberg Vodka, licensed to harvest water from icebergs can do so only once a year (usually in late spring), when they head to the Newfoundland coast. “Think about a grape harvest to make wine, you only have one crack at it a year,” Meyers said. “It’s the same thing with icebergs.”

So, the glacier water. There are some options here. Why would thieves steal 30,000 liters of glacier water?

  • To start a rival glacier vodka company
  • To start a rival glacier vodka company that also makes gin
  • To fill the first ride at the glacier-themed waterpark they’re hoping to launch, probably a glacier waterslide?
  • Because they want to sell the fanciest ice cubes in history
  • Because they want to sell the fanciest bottled water in history
  • To make a glacier ice-sculpture
  • For a billionaire-only ice rink
  • To water luxe plants
  • To bathe like seals
  • For drinking

And then there’s the likeliest of all possible options: That they thought they were stealing vodka and have pretended to be drunk ever since.

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About the author

Allison Shoemaker

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves television, bourbon, and dramatically overanalyzing social interactions.