Earn $1,000 Eating Cheese

Apply for the side gig of your dreams—or your nightmares.

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Do you enjoy a little late night snack before bed? If a charcuterie board before bed sounds like a solid nighttime routine, Sleep Junkie, a website focused on sleep tips and mattress reviews, has the perfect gig for you. Five cheese-loving applicants could earn $1,000 for upping their nighttime dairy intake, per Sleep Junkie’s website.

Sleep Junkie is conducting a study to understand the correlation between eating cheese before bed and the likelihood of experiencing nightmares; the article outlining the study notes that this connection is “one of the most popular European sleep theories.” In addition to testing how cheese might affect a person’s dreams, the study will also try to determine whether different types of cheese might have varying effects on dreams.

A recent study conducted by OnePoll did indeed find that 43% of British people believe this old wives’ tale about cheesy nightmares, and 23% of respondents said they’ve actually experienced the phenomenon. Survey respondents even named cheddar and mozzarella cheese as the biggest culprits.

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Sleep Junkie’s application for this “job” is simple, asking for basic information like your full name, date of birth, and why you want to be a “cheese tester.” But the requirements to be selected as a “dairy dreamer” are a bit more detailed than the application itself.

To be chosen as one of the five participants in the study, an applicant must be at least 21 years old, own a smartwatch or fitness tracker that tracks sleep, maintain a consistent sleep schedule, and be able to sleep alone during the trials. You’ll also need to be meticulous in documenting your sleep quality, energy levels, and dreams throughout the three-month study.

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As we approach Valentine’s Day, committing to sleeping alone for three months might be a hard sell for some, but us single pringles finally have an opportunity to shine. A little personal charcuterie board and a gouda night’s sleep? Sign me up.

Although the experiment will include vegan and lactose-free cheese (more on that in a minute), applicants also can’t have any physical aversions to dairy and no existing sleep conditions. Those living with lactose intolerance need not apply, unfortunately. The experiment begins in March and selected participants will be paid $1,000 at the end of the study.

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The details of the actual cheese consumption, meanwhile, appear to be something you’ll learn on the job. Per the website, those chosen for this experiment will have to eat an assigned type of cheese each week with a one-week break in between cheese varieties to ensure accurate results. Cheese types will include blue, hard, soft-ripened, and processed varieties. It’s not specified exactly how much cheese one will need to eat before bedtime, but the cheese has to be eaten at the same time each night throughout the trial.

Enduring potentially three months of messed up dreams for $1,000 sounds worth it to me, especially if there are weeklong breaks in between cheeses. I’m willing to sacrifice my REM cycle to the dairy lords for some cash, are you?