Those poor saps back on the land with their “laws” and “ethics” (Screenshot: YouTube)

Remember when you were a kid and your parents said you couldn’t do something and you shouted, “Fine, I’ll just go microwave tennis balls at Cindy’s house then!” Or when your college R.A. said it was a violation of school rules to smoke a spliff even in the courtyard, which you’re pretty sure is outside his stupid jurisdiction anyway? Yeah, well a bunch of ingenious Kiwis just found the rules-free solution we’ve been longing for all along: international waters, baby.

Metro UK reports that a group of clever New Zealanders living in the dry town of Tairua were not about to let a government ban on alcohol stop their New Year’s partying. So they took a cue from tax evaders, cruise ship thieves, and Simpsons monkey knife-fight enthusiasts and built an island bar far enough from shore to be in international waters. According to Metro UK, local mayor Sandra Goudie said she couldn’t help but be impressed. Likewise, Sandy.

Seriously, hats off to these Kiwis for somehow constructing a small island off the beach, installing a picnic table, and dragging booze out there for their celebration. Sometimes you have to fight for your right to party, and if that means smuggling a cooler of sauvnignon blanc through shark-infested waters well, damn, that is a lesson in how 2018 should be inaugurated.