For once, a McMansion worthy of the name

A statue of Ronald McDonald in Tianjin, China
Photo: Zhang Peng (Getty Images)

Zillow is one of the greatest gifts the Internet has given us. In the Olden Times, if you wanted to see what the inside of someone’s house looked like, you actually had to go there and speak to the owner and pretend to care about kitchen renovations or the state of the roof. But now, you can see what a turret looks like from the inside without having to get out of your pajamas. I am especially grateful to the people who relentlessly scan Zillow to find the most entertaining houses and then share them with the world.

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This past weekend brought us this marvelous house in Rockville Centre, New York, on Long Island. From the outside, it looks like your standard two-story suburban colonial-style house. But a few pictures into the photo gallery, things start to get a little... unusual. Like, right at the sign that announces “Ronald Room.”

The Ronald in question is Ronald McDonald—and yes, indeedy, he is in that room, life-sized and sitting on a bench by the window with what appears to be Geoffrey the giraffe from Toys “R” Us. There is also a smaller Ronald perched in one of the built-in bookcases, which he shares with several vintage Coca-Cola signs. Pepsi, however, occupies the place of honor over the fireplace.

Moving on to the kitchen, which has medium-brown wood cabinets, gray countertops, a variegated gray tile backsplash, and built-in vinyl upholstered stools at the breakfast bar, all of which look vaguely familiar. A few photos later, it all becomes clear, thanks to the McDonald’s sign hanging over the stove. And also the table with chairs that looked poached from a McDonald’s PlayPlace.

The whole house is filled with amazing fast food memorabilia, including a White Castle stained glass sign, a Wendy’s mirror, and a vintage Coke cooler. There’s also an awesome-looking basement video game arcade.

Who is the owner of this house? A McDonald’s executive? A rabid fan? Ronald himself? Mayor McCheese??? Alas, the listing is devoid of information. Also, aside from the kitchen countertops and cabinets, it’s likely this person will take all the memorabilia with them when they leave. Still, there’s a basement bar and an in-ground backyard swimming pool. Plus seven bedrooms and four bathrooms. All for $1,375,000. Go get it!

Associate editor of The Takeout. Chicagoan. Owned by dog.

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