Photo: lovelyday12 (iStock)

On February 28, a complaint was filed with Florida’s Indian River County Sheriff’s Department, alleging “open burning” in a yard on 85th Street. When the cops showed up, the gentlemen doing the burning said—paraphrasing here, but only a little—that his blaze was totally NBD, because the good shit was still inside.

The TC Palm reports that David Frederick Ellis, 64, was tending to a “smoldering pile” in his backyard, measuring 5 to 6 feet in diameter and 2 to 3 feet in height, per an official affidavit. Ellis told the authorities it was “just some leaves,” but a deputy pointed out a few key facts to Ellis; namely, a strong smell of some real dank stuff and “the remains of small pot plants and leaves.”

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At that point, a person burning drugs in their yard might reasonably think, “Well, you got me, this was probably not my best idea, should probably keep my mouth shut and call a lawyer, huh.” Not Ellis. He reassured the deputy: “I was only burning the leaves, it’s trash,” later adding, “It’s trash, you don’t smoke that, I’ve got like a quarter pound of it inside.”

Naturally, the officials headed inside, where Ellis’ veracity was proven; there was, in fact, an “aluminum tray with apparent marijuana and drug paraphernalia.” Ellis then asked whether or not the officials had found the tray. A deputy replied that they had, to which Ellis responded, “I’ve got more in the refrigerator.”

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A more thorough search (presumably including the fridge) turned up more than 6 ounces of weed and a little THC wax. To this, Ellis chimed in, right on time, “Did you find all my pot?” He was then arrested for possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana and possession of drug-related paraphernalia. The TC Palm does not indicate whether or not deputies gave Ellis a thank-you card for doing all their work for him.

Last week, two years after voters officially supported the measure, medical marijuana use became legal in Florida, when Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill which repealed former Governor Rick Scott’s 2017 law banning all marijuana smoking.

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