Photo: Alex Linch, ablokhin (iStock)

Sometimes, the headlines write themselves!

You may recall Stuart, Florida as the site of an ongoing battle between local residents and the Popeyes smell. Now, Stuart has also played host to a scuffle that resulted in numerous arrests and guaranteed a deluge of winking news reportage. In the same way one might expect a royal to demean his peasantry at a Burger King, or a red-haired woman to cause a scene inside a Wendy’s, a quintet of gentlemen were arrested by Stuart police after a fight broke out inside a Five Guys Burgers & Fries.

NBC 6 South Florida reports that a group of males, numbered between four and six, were arrested and charged with affray at the location. The incident is still under investigation; as of this writing, the cause of the fight remains unknown. And for as much as we hate to see a fray of fellows in any public location, we’re glad that these dudes didn’t cause any lasting damage, at least not compared to the forthcoming wordplay as a result of where it all went down.

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