Fake Blood Is Easy To Make And Tastes Like Chocolate

Let's say you want to stage a murder scene this weekend. In the spirit of community, you invite the neighborhood kids over. Now, toddlers being toddlers, you just know they'll stick their grubby little fingers into the knife wounds, their wee shoes splashing about in the puddle formed by your victim's lacerated carotid artery as his blood inevitably finds its way to their tiny mouths. How can you ensure that your gory splatter-fest is safe for children?

If you're planning on using bottled fake blood from a party store, you should know that it isn't usually safe to consume. Nor, for that matter, does it look especially realistic. The most responsible and aesthetically pleasing choice is to make your own fake blood, which yields a far superior—and tastier—product.

You can find various fake blood recipes on the internet; here's one we found via Sick Science.

Recipe by Sick Science

16 oz. powdered sugar1 oz. red food coloring1 tablespoon cocoa powder8 oz. water

Blend water and powdered sugar together in a blender, until no clumps remain. Next, add red food coloring into mixture and blend again.

Finally, add cocoa powder, at least 1 tablespoon, or a little more to achieve the dark blood red you desire (it depends on the redness of the food coloring).

It took some effort, but we have to say: We were extremely pleased with the results. Our fake blood had the ideal viscosity, the color was accurate, and it had the unexpected added benefit of tasting like chocolate syrup. We drizzled it over a cake, then stabbed the shit out of it.

So when you have young children over to your basement this weekend, proceed with confidence that your bloody tableau will do no harm—and that it will be delicious.