But KC takes its no-harm policy even further: Customers can track the fish that produced their caviar. A code on each package corresponds to a microchipped fish whose identity can be retrieved at KC’s website, providing “living proof that this process is totally harmless to the sturgeon.” (Also, the fish bios are, um, about what you’d expect. Here’s one for a sturgeon named Layla: “She is a happy fish who loves swimming round her tank.”)

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This is one culinary-ethical dilemma I don’t have to worry about, as caviar isn’t a staple of my diet the way it is for Drew Magary or Russian oligarchs.