Easter ham denied to International Space Station

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Photo: Zenobillis, pamela_d_mcadams (iStock)

Despite humanity’s compulsion to probe ever-deeper into outer space, progress remains slow. After all, to even send an individual into orbit requires millions of dollars, years of training, and countless experiments to ensure their safety. That’s all willing that everything goes according to plan once the launch countdown hits zero. And once there, those who do have the rare privilege of living among the stars are left to balance their research obligations with retaining a sense of humanity.

And dear reader, The Takeout would now like to ask in that same spirit: Is a humanity bereft of holiday ham still human at all?

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As Easter Sunday draws near, an Associated Press article about the launch of food and test/repair equipment for the International Space Station includes details about the more than 800 pre-packaged meals sent to the six current residents of the International Space Station, aboard the Cygnus capsule:

NASA also packed more than 800 meals for the six station residents. Their holiday choices include pork chops with gravy, smoked turkey, potatoes au gratin, lemon meringue pudding and apricot cobbler.

Great! NASA’s really playing the hits with this spread. But let’s keep the focus where it matters: the ham. What’s an Easter without ham? Do the geniuses aboard the ISS also get shipments of O’Doul’s for St. Patrick’s Day?

Good people of Earth. Those six intrepid explorers are up there now. Along with the food, we also sent them 40 rats (for a vaccination experiment) and “free-flying robots.” Technology has evolved far enough that we as a species are capable of sending rats and what we assume are three copies of EVE from Wall-E to the ISS. And still, no ham.

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To deny these brave individuals their ham is to spit upon the spirit of discovery and collaboration in which the ISS was assembled. You may quote The Takeout on this.

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