So there’s this guy in the U.K., right? And he’s drunk-driving, right? (Don’t drive drunk, you could kill somebody.) So he pulls into a McDonald’s because he’s a wee bit peckish, and because he’s hilarious, he tries to pay for his 24-hour breakfast or whatever with a sock. And then he misses the birth of his baby. Fun!
The Peterborough Telegraph reports that Shamsher Butt rolled through the drive-thru of a McD’s on Clenchwarton Road shortly before 5 a.m., on his way home from a club. He then decided that 5 a.m. was the perfect time for a some fast food-related comedic stylings, and so offered forms of payment that weren’t money, including a “crisp packet” (chip bag), before the savvy employee who was taking his order directed him to one of those hey-wait-here-for-your-food spots McDonald’s has now. The employee then had his co-workers call the cops.
As it happens, Butt, who is 29, was loaded: “An evidential test gave a reading of 65 microgrammes in 100 millilitres of breath, the legal limit being 35.” (That’s about a .13 blood-alcohol content, by our calculations.) Butt told the cops he’d been drinking vodka-Cokes, then mentioned his hilarious sock- and chip-related comedy bits. So he got arrested, and spent the night in jail. It wasn’t his best timing; turns out his wife was supposed to go into induced labor the next day, and he was unable to drive her to the hospital because he drove drunk and did a standup routine in a drive-thru line. Here’s how magistrate Alison Muir put it, per the Telegraph:
“He was in high jinks. His wife was going to give birth the following day. He was supposed to take her to hospital but he was in the police station.” She said his antics at McDonald’s were “all part of his sense of humor... His wife is supportive of him but not very happy about him going out that evening and jeopardizing the family finances.”
Butt was banned from driving for 18 months and fined a total of £115 (about $146). Someone should let him know there’s a time and a place for being hilarious; if he’d like an example of a person exercising such restraint, he can check out this very article, which includes not one joke about Mr. Butt’s last name.