I cannot believe it’s already been 25 years the birth of the McFlurry, a product I often order only to be told that the machine is broken and to come back some other time*. And to celebrate the birthday of the world’s most elusive dessert, McDonald’s has created the McFlurry 25th B-Day Suit, which is guaranteed to always be functional and never tell you to stop crying because you can’t have ice cream and are “making a scene.” According to a McDonald’s press release, the suit is “very limited edition,” “too comfortable,” has a special insulated pocket in which to carry your hypothetical McFlurry, and has another pocket that’s meant for spoon storage, though I suppose you can also fill it with McNuggets.
“The trendy suit adds a pop of color to your wardrobe with a playful McFlurry pattern displaying three delicious McFlurry flavors: the new limited time Chips Ahoy!®, OREO® and M&M’S®,” reads the press release. “With its comfortable, lightweight fabric and structured, suit-like silhouette, it’s the essential attire for an at-home party or virtual celebration.”
The suit goes on sale this Friday, September 25 at 11:30 a.m and will most definitely sell out quickly, because who would turn up their nose at the chance to own clothes with a dedicated ice cream pocket? I’m already surly about the dearth of pockets in most women’s clothing, and now I’m furious that the few pockets we do get aren’t ice cream compatible.
(*True story: Last fall I was supposed to review the limited-edition Snickerdoodle McFlurry, but could not because the machine was “broken.” Last week I attempted to get the new Chips Ahoy McFlurry for review, but once again could not because the machine was “broken.” I refused to go to a different McDonald’s on principle and vow to never stop voicing my displeasure until I know for sure that all Americans—regardless if they live in a cushy suburban enclave or a place like Southwest Baltimore—have free, unfettered access to this elusive fast food dessert. Give me McFlurries or give me death.)