A North Carolina man who won a doughnut-eating contest was charged with robbing a Dunkin’ Donuts, according to The Virginian-Pilot. And while the charges were for breaking and entering, felony larceny, and felony safe cracking, we at The Takeout think it’d be a way funnier image if you imagined the suspect was caught laid out in a corner, belly exposed and stuffed with jelly doughnuts, his face caked with powdered sugar, burbling out the words: “Just... one... more... Bavarian cream...”
Unfortunately, there is no delicious irony in this story. Bradley Hardison, 27, was arrested last week for break-ins police say happened in November. Hardison is apparently no stranger to the cops: The doughnut-eating contest he won in 2014 (in which he ate eight glazed doughnuts in two minutes, according the The Virginian-Pilot) was, in fact, sponsored by the police. The next day, Hardison was arrested for break-ins at two grocery stores.
As for last week’s arrest for the Dunkin’ Donuts case, let’s just go with this image instead: