Nothing is more sacred to my personhood than my internal Doritos taxonomy. There are the Supreme flavors (Spicy Sweet Chili, Cool Ranch), the Perfectly Acceptable flavors (Nacho Cheese, Salsa Verde), and the Last Resort flavors (Taco, Screamin’ Sriracha). Now, I must adjust my rankings, because two new options are debuting this month: Tangy Pickle and Tangy Ranch.
I should clarify that Tangy Pickle has been around once before, briefly hitting test markets last summer. A press release sent to The Takeout describes the flavor thusly: “A viral hit last summer, Tangy Pickle is a fan favorite for its bold flavor that energizes your senses with the tangy taste of dill pickle.”
(Quick interjection here: can we truly call this flavor “a viral hit?” I don’t know. Personally, I missed the hubbub. I saw one Twitter user tweet, “I miss tangy pickle Doritos,” but they may or may not be a bot. Reddit was a bit more fruitful, with one user explaining that the flavor was previously only available at Dollar General and Circle K for a limited time last year. Another Redditor called the chips “comparable to Lay’s pickle chips but a lot stronger on the vinegar flavor.”)
Also on offer is Doritos Tangy Ranch, a “delicious combination of the classic Doritos crunch paired with the savory tastes of ranch seasoning.” This flavor seems awfully similar to Cool Ranch, which, as you might recall, occupies a place in my Supreme Doritos classification. I have no idea what differentiates Tangy Ranch from Cool Ranch, but I’d imagine it has something to do with the snack’s levels of tang.
Per the press release, Tangy Ranch will be on store shelves nationwide starting today, August 2. Unfortunately, you’ll have to work a little harder to track down a bag of Tangy Pickle. Starting August 9, there will be 1,000 “exclusive bags” available for fans to purchase at snacks.com/tangypickle. Finally, Doritos is kicking off a social contest starting August 9 that allows fans to enter for a chance to win a limited-edition branded boombox kit that includes a bag of Tangy Pickle chips alongside some “90s-themed swag.” I’ll give you a nickel if you order me a bag of Tangy Pickle.