People on the internet are all riled up today, thanks to a recent announcement from French’s. The condiment brand says it’s creating a very controversial popsicle flavor that’ll only be available in Canada: ketchup.
It’s teaming up with Canadian popsicle maker, Happy Pops, to come up with this zany (zingy?) new flavor. French’s says it’ll be “refreshingly savory and sweet.” Canadians’ love for ketchup is well-documented (dude, ketchup chips are fuckin’ good). Not everyone thinks this is a great idea, as you’d imagine.
One Twitter user, @gpappalardo, simply responded with, “No.”
But guess what, everyone, I’m here to argue that it doesn’t sound terrible to me at all. In fact, it sounds really good.
Why we should embrace ketchup popsicles
While people treat tomatoes as a vegetable, you all remember that it’s a fruit, right? Despite the fact that we typically use tomatoes culinarily as a vegetable, like in salads and sauces, they’re still a fruit and can still absolutely be used that way.
When I was growing up, my mom would bring in a freshly plucked tomato from the garden, slice it in half for me and my sister, and sprinkle it lightly with sugar. In that context, you can really feel its fruit vibes, tart, acidic, and slightly savory from its natural glutamic acids. If you don’t believe me, find a nice ripe tomato and try it with sugar for yourself.
I mean come on, ketchup is sweet as shit, anyway. Aside from tomatoes, there’s a ton of high fructose corn syrup in a typical bottle of ketchup. And guess what else is sweet? Fuckin’ popsicles.
Maybe I’m a little more lax on the ketchup thing than most people. I think it’s fine on scrambled eggs, which got a ton of you all mad at me in the comments section in this post. On hot dogs? Honestly, who gives a rat’s hairy ass, and I’m looking right at you, Chicago. My coworkers are also happily into ketchup too, as evidenced by this piece from our very own Angela Pagán. Don’t get me started on the whole Bloody Mary thing, either.
So is a ketchup popsicle gross? No way. I think they’re gonna be good. Too bad they’ll only be available at three one-time-only pop-ups in Canada. If I was up there, you’d see me happily waiting in line while all of you haters hang out at home, talkin’ trash on the internet. Eh, who knows? Maybe I’ll make my own.