The Noid has returned to fight Domino’s delivery robots

Illustration for article titled The Noid has returned to fight Domino’s delivery robots
Screenshot: YouTube

Mankind has been successfully avoiding the Noid for over 25 years... until now. And, in a shocking turn of events, the Noid may no longer be an enemy, but an ally in our fight against the greatest threat our species has ever faced: robots.

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The Takeout’s Robot Beat is devoted to informing readers about the many ways robots are trying to destroy us, one of which is to find ways of infiltrating the food biz. Two weeks ago Domino’s announced that it was officially in cahoots with the robots, using the Nuro R2—the first completely autonomous, driverless, on-road delivery vehicle. And now I’ve learned that the Noid, once known primarily for incompetent boobery, has come out of retirement to stop this robot at all costs.

Illustration for article titled The Noid has returned to fight Domino’s delivery robots
Graphic: Domino’s

Starting today, you can see the Noid’s attempts to destroy the Nuro R2 in a new series of commercials from Domino’s. Thus far, the attempts have been a massive failure, but I believe in the Noid, because someone needs to be brave enough to fight these robots with their bare fists, and I’m not doing it.

Starting May 7, the Noid will also be appearing in the new Crash Bandicoot mobile game as one of the mini bosses, because it seems that Crash Bandicoot is secretly a robot sympathizer who must also be stopped at all costs. If the Noid is willing to fight for the survival of our species, maybe it will inspire more people to stand up and do the same. Just you try to avoid the Noid this time, you filthy robots!

Allison Robicelli is a writer, recipe czar, former professional chef, author of four (quite good) books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Tweet me for recipe help: @Robicellis.

DISCUSSION

thatguyinphilly
thatguyinphilly

I can’t imagine any driverless robot navigating the streets of Philadelphia without exactly this happening, and that’s only based on the fact that HitchBOT didn’t even get a chance to see what Baltimore would have done to him.

Perhaps he is real; a champion of small business and anti-capitalism who infiltrates advertising agencies every decade or so.