Dairy Queen’s latest Blizzard concoction, a marketing tie-in to the latest Jurassic World franchise, is essentially a bag of peanut butter chocolate candy you chase down with vanilla soft serve. It is impossible to scoop a spoonful without a couple or three chunks embedded in the frozen swirl. The candy is button-sized chocolate rounds filled with a peanut butter goo. It tastes exactly as you’d expect peanut butter + chocolate + ice cream to taste together. The small version of this Blizzard contains about 20 percent more calories than a McDonald’s Big Mac. Whatever. This Blizzard is rad. To elaborate further with flowery language under the guise of nuanced criticism would be an insult to your intelligence and time.
Kevin Pang was the founder and editor-in-chief of The Takeout, and director of the documentary For Grace on Netflix.