Oh, you read the headline and expect some sort of scissor take-down, right? Scissors, how ridiculous, those are for construction paper and plastic packaging removal guaranteed to slice your finger off. But do not adjust your screens, readers, here is our honest thought on the matter: Scissors are a great utensil. We are all for scissors at the table.
New York Magazine called our attention to the apparent trend, mostly evidenced at pizzerias and Korean barbecue restaurants. Diners sit down, order, and when their food arrives, it comes not with knives or pizza cutters, but with scissors. Brilliant. We’ve spotted this at Korean barbecues and the houses of parents with small children—you can snip a hot dog into pieces in three seconds with scissors—but we’re heartily here for scissors’ place at pizzerias.
I don’t have to tell you that pizza cutters are trash. Trash! Especially when they’re dull, using one to cut a pizza is like trying to chop down a redwood with a butter knife. Pizza cutters apply pressure only in one direction, downward, smooshing the crust, dragging toppings everywhere, and still not quite separating your desired slice. Seeing as these things are probably too unwieldy to drop at every table, scissors are a wonderful solution. Because they exert pressure in two directions, they’re less likely to compress the crust downward.
What other culinary uses for scissors have we not yet embraced? Pasta cutting? Bread slicing? Cake dividing? Okay, maybe not the latter.