Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen DeGeneres
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix

Netflix’s Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee, a series in which Jerry Seinfeld and some comedians get in cars and then get coffee, has never really been about food. But they eat food (and buy rugs, and other stuff), too. Uproxx reports that now Seinfeld is sharing his thoughts on the spots visited on the show, and he’s doing it in exactly the place you’d expect: Google Maps.

Below, a children’s treasury of lines sans context from Seinfeld’s Google Maps reviews of restaurants in Las Vegas, Washington D.C., New York City, and New Jersey:

  • Not since I was in Rhode Island and had New Jersey calamari have I had this taste.
  • Saw Charlton Heston dining here. Boy at next table said “I see dead people.”
  • Do not confuse this place with the Omelet Apartment, Omelet Condo or Omelet Airbnb.
  • Lunatic bodybuilder cooks it.
  • Burgers are so big I saw a muscle man pull one across the room with a chain in his teeth.
  • So upscale I sit ramrod straight when I write this.
  • I am a bon vivant. WE GOT THE MEATS!
  • They failed their health inspection when they found faces in the food.
  • You’ll feel patriotic and a little gassy.
  • 5 STARS for the eggs. I had borscht.

You can stream the series on Netflix. You can try the borscht at the DINER in Washington, D.C.