Brace yourself America: Coke’s about to give you an energy drink

Image: Coca Cola Company

If the insanity of the past few years has taught us anything (and I write this with one eye on today’s news, and Jesus Christ), we cannot keep using the same methods to cope with life. Caffeinated soft drinks, plain old coffee, even water: none of it is good enough anymore. We need to bulletproof the coffee, enhance the water, and ditch the pop for energy drinks.

Accordingly, Coca-Cola, that great icon of Americana, has announced that it’s releasing its very own energy drink in January: Coke Energy. (Didn’t people always drink Coke for energy anyway? Moving on…) It comes in regular and cherry, with sugar and without.

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Coke Energy is already available throughout Europe and in Australia. But according to Bloomberg analysts, Coke has been losing ground to energy drinks, which happen to be the fastest-growing subsegment of the food and beverage industry. They are much beloved by gamers, presumably the same people who used to mainline Coke to stay awake during all-night gaming sessions.

The many, many reports about how bad pop is for you can’t have helped much, either.

So what is in Coke Energy? Per the official press release: Guarana extracts, B vitamins, and 114 mg of caffeine per 12-ounce serving, equivalent to a 12-ounce cup of drip coffee.

Strangely, Coke is already the largest shareholder in Monster, the nation’s number-two energy drink after Red Bull. It also distributes Monster through its own network. Monster was, understandably, a bit concerned about Coke’s foray into the energy drink market, but when the two companies went to arbitration, Ad Age and Bloomberg report, a tribunal decided it was totally okay. A spokeswoman reassured the reporters that Coke Energy was targeting people who don’t already drink energy drinks. Well then.

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About the author

Aimee Levitt

Aimee Levitt is associate editor of The Takeout.